gall and gumption

Saturday, September 26, 2009

From the Correspondence Files of

From: Kia

To: Da Gator

Dear Gator,

So I was driving home from some errands this afternoon catching as much as I could of the Saturday programming on WPFW, as usual. Honestly I could listen to it all day, and sometimes I do. But I only caught the very tail end of your show and the bit I caught was almost entirely taken up by this one song that was so awesome that when I got home I sat in my car listening so I could write down the information about the artist. But I guess you must have done that beforehand.

It was the song about the lady whose man hadn't given her any action in 6 years and it was their 20th anniversary so she went out to Frederick's of Hollywood and got three nekkid jays (after you put it on you're still nekkid as a jaybird) to sew together to make one big one and then she cooked him some pork chops and ordered his favorite booze, had it delivered from the liquor store; it was Ripple, two bottles. And then after all that he didn't show up so she drank all the Ripple and then she ate all the pork chops and went to bed and woke up to find him snoring beside her and drooling all over her arm, and when she reminded him it was her anniversary he told her he didn't want to hear about it. So the next day after he left for work she changed all the locks. And then when he came home she had all this cooking--greens with smoked meat, macaroni and cheese, a roast chicken and about three different kinds of cornbread, with the windows open so the smell was blowing down the street. That song. It rocked my world and made my day. Who was the artist and what was the song? I bet it's not his/her only good one.

I know you're busy, but I hope you have time to tell me just this little thing. And thanks for many awesome Saturday afternoons.