5:30 a.m. Confession: Envy

I wish -- and one or two of you may have heard me say this, but I don't think I've written it -- I had this one ability that dogs have. There they are fast asleep and something untoward happens. Today and every morning the untoward thing that happens is that Rommel the incredibly handsome young German Shepherd and his master the pleasant cop, walk down the stairs and out the door to take care of a bit of Rommel-related business.

Sweetie finds this deeply offensive, even in her sleep. She springs straight up out of a deep sleep (and she is not a morning person). She rushes at the door, barking furiously and sometimes even scratching at it. Then she leaps over the sofa up onto the recliner at the window and barks out the window until she can't see Rommel any more because he has rounded the corner of the building. So she watches for him, moaning. When he comes back about two minutes later she charges the window again, rushes at the door, back and forth, hackles up, barking, yapping, and making these hilarious frustrated yerping noises.

And then, when Rommel is back in his apartment where he belongs, Sweetie just curls up again on her bed or the sofa and instantly goes right back to sleeping the sleep of the just.

If Nature had given me that ability to go back to sleep (I don't think I'd have much need of the barking) I would not be writing to you at this moment.